Easy Does It

Episode 5

Politics as Usual

by

Michael Beninate

Int.  Studio.  Day.

Evan is by himself in the studio making coffee.  He turns the kitchen radio on to the Leeward Wright Show, a conservative political commentator.  

RADIO:

		...Bush has the right idea.  He’s nominated 
		a moderate Republican Supreme Court candidate 
		who’s just conservative enough to get past 
the liberal Senate confirmation process.  He stands a good chance of being confirmed.  The Democrats have been falling all over themselves trying find any reason why this man shouldn’t 
be named to the Supreme Court... 

Rustan enters the studio.

RUSTAN
			Morning.

EVAN
			Hey.

Rustan goes to the kitchen and makes a cup of coffee.

RADIO:

		...Bush has a golden opportunity to appoint 
two Supreme Court Justices during his presidential terms and he’s not about to 
let this opportunity go by without naming conservatives who will once and for all 
tip the scales back in favor of mainstream 
middle American family values...

RUSTAN
			Evan, turn that crap off. 

EVAN
			What for?

RUSTAN
			You can listen to him in your 
house, you can listen to him in 
your car, you can hear his voice 
in your head for all I care, 
but you’re not going to listen 
to that in my building on my 
radio.  

RADIO:

		...The country might finally get a Supreme 
Court that will finally send the bleeding 
heart liberals, the feminists, the welfare queens, the gay weddings and all those 
special interest groups packing...

Rustan turns the radio off.  

RUSTAN
I can’t believe you like that guy.

EVAN
			Why?  Cause he’s right?

RUSTAN
			Because he’s an ass.

EVAN
			We need somebody to speak up 
for normal mainstream America. 

(insultingly)
 
The Democrats think everything’s 
OK.  They try to be so politically 
correct.

RUSTAN
Not that I am even entertaining 
the slightest thought of getting 
involved in this conversation, 
but it seems to me that the only 
people who have a problem with 
being politically correct are 
the ones who have the most trouble 
doing it.  And I don’t know why
its even called that.  It should
be known as “not being an ass.”

Diana and Roxy enter the studio, put down their things and go to the kitchen to make their coffee.

DIANA
			Good morning Bentley boys.

ROXY
			Good morning, guys.

EVAN
			Hey.

RUSTAN
			Good morning, ladies.  How was 
everyone’s weekend?  

DIANA
			It was another home improvement 
weekend for me.  We’re still 
working on that first addition 
			to the house and now Johnny 
wants to build a deck in the 
backyard.  I’m on a first name 
			basis with most of the people 
at Home Depot.  I almost put 
my tool belt on out of habit 
			before I left the house this 
morning.  It’s become my new 
wardrobe accessory.  

RUSTAN
			You should have.  It would match 
those shoes.

DIANA
			Shut up.

ROXY
			I went to a political fundraiser 
for my cousin Emile.  He’s running
for state representative and needs 
help soliciting campaign contributions.  
I strained my voice talking to 
so many people.  I think I’m just 
going to shorten my spiel to, 
“Nice to meet you.  Can we have 
some of your money?”  And I had 
a great time yesterday at the 
Zulu picnic in City Park.  Let 
me tell you; these people have 
elevated the picnic to a new 
all time high.  People brought
generators, major appliances, 
P.A. systems, TVs.  I have never 
seen so much food outside in 
my life.  What did you guys do?

EVAN
			I had Maribella Saturday.  I 
took her to the planetarium and 
after the show, she asked me, 
			“Daddy, are the stars alive?"  
I told her, “Yes.  They’re alive 
with energy.”  Then she goes, 
“Who feeds them?”  Now I have 
			this recurring image in my mind 
of God going around the universe 
feeding the stars energy bars 
and Starburst. 

ROXY
			She’s adorable.

DIANA
			She sure is.  What did you do, 
Rustan?

RUSTAN
			Not much.  I went to the Orpheum 
Theatre to hear the Louisiana 
Philharmonic Orchestra.  They 
performed Stravinsky’s “Song of 
the Nightingale” which I’ve been 
waiting to hear for years.  I 
wasn’t about to miss that.  
It was fantastic.  

DIANA
			Sounds nice.  Who did you go with?

RUSTAN
			I went by myself.  

DIANA
			You went to the symphony by 
yourself?

RUSTAN
			Sure.  I usually do.  I go to 
Lenny’s Piccadilly Lounge next 
to the theater and have a few 
beers while I study the score.  
			Then I sit close to the stage 
where there’s enough light to 
read along during the performance.  
Not exactly a good date scenario.  
			Besides, I don’t know any people 
who enjoy that sort of music 
like I do.  Yesterday I cooked, 
watched a movie and rested.

DIANA
			When are you going to start dating, 
Rustan?  You’ve been single for 
too long now. 

RUSTAN 
			Dating?  Oh, Gawd.  I’m reluctant 
to make eye contact.  Anyway, I 
haven’t met anyone compatible yet. 

ROXY
			That’s because you isolate yourself 
too much.

RUSTAN
			Well, since you’re both so 
interested in my personal life, 
I have been pursued by a couple 
of men from the business association.  
One of them thinks he’s impressing 
me by dropping names and telling 
other people’s secrets.  The other
one seems to be interested in one 
thing only. 

EVAN
(embarrassed)
			Gawd.

RUSTAN
(tauntingly)
			What’s the matter, Evan.  Don’t 
you want to meet any of my boyfriends?  You’re my big brother.  Aren’t you 
supposed to protect me and threaten 
the boys that come around?

EVAN
			You’re not my sister.  I think.

RUSTAN
			It’s nine o’clock on Monday morning 
and I’ve already had enough of you. 

(to Diana and Roxy) 

			I come in this morning and he’s got 
that awful Leeward Wright playing 
on my radio in my kitchen. 

DIANA
(dramatically)
			Oh my God.  Call the cops.

ROXY
			I can’t stand that bastard.  It’s 
amazing how so few people see 
how divisive he is.

RUSTAN
			And mean-spirited, and tasteless, 
and as motivationally ulterior...

EVAN
			And honest.  You all can’t stand 
the fact that someone’s once and 
for all telling the truth to the 
American public.

RUSTAN
			Who’s truth?  Certainly not mine.

EVAN
			No one cares about your truth 
or all the other bleeding heart 
liberal wusses who are destroying
our country with their “everything’s 
OK” Democrat attitude.

RUSTAN
(rotating his finger around his ear)
			I don’t think you’re OK.  In fact, 
I know you’re not OK.  Whacko. 

ROXY
			Would ya’ll please stop it?  
It’s nine-fifteen in the morning 
and already we have to listen to 
this nonsense.  Are ya’ll ever 
going to get tired of having 
the same senseless argument?  

EVAN
			Not until he realizes how stupid 
he is.

RUSTAN
(to Evan)
			You’re such an idiot.

DIANA
			Don’t even try, Roxy.  They’ve 
been doing this since they were 
twenty and I don’t think they’re 
going to stop anytime soon.

RUSTAN
(angrily)
			I'ts like a broken record.  He 
says the same crap all the time.  
He's got me pegged as some 
freewheeling hippie who disregards 
			parental discipline and social 
structure, even though I don't 
have any kids.  He's the one 
with the kid who has very little 
to do with her upbringing.  And 
then I'm made to feel like I and 
anybody else of like mind is the 
cause of all of society's ills. 
Not to mention that I am accused 
of being unpatriotic and immoral!  
Most of this I would normally just 
ignore because he's my brother. 
But it's where he gets his 
information that bothers me.  

EVAN
			Oh, and where you get your 
information from is so trustworthy.

RUSTAN
			Yes, Evan.  Reading books and 
newspapers are a much better place 
to formulate opinions.  Not that 
I believe everything that I read. 
			I at least try to balance my 
information with many knowledgeable 
sources, including my own intuition, 
and form my own opinions.  You're 
like a dry sponge ready to soak up 
any wet blurb that comes down the conservative pike.  Do you know 
how robotic you sound?  Don't you 
have an opinion of your own?  Why 
don't you do a little more reading?

			Read what?  The liberal media?  
I don't need to read anything to 
know what's wrong with this country.  

RUSTAN
			What about history?

EVAN
			You can't believe history.  
That's just somebody's opinion.  

RUSTAN
(dumbfounded)
			Let me get this straight.  You 
won't read history books written 
by scholars because you don't 
trust their integrity, but you 
will believe some sensationalistic 
radio performer who takes advantage 
of people's fears and insecurities 
and who's income depends on 
broadcast ratings?

EVAN
			All I know is that he tells it 
like it is.  All you liberal 
Democrats can't stand the fact 
			that most of the world is like 
us and there’s nothing you can
do about it.  

RUSTAN
			That is not only a reply that 
I would expect from a person 
who doesn't have an intellectual 
			argument, but also one from who 
relies on mindless competitiveness 
and divisiveness to make himself 
feel somehow justified.  

ROXY
			You know, you guys, we do have 
some work to get done today. 

DIANA
			Yeah.  None of which is listening 
to you two fight this same old 
argument.  Knock it off.

CUT TO:  

NIGHT.  INTERIOR.

Denison is at the University library at a table studying with other students.  A colleague from his class approaches him.

YOUNG MAN
(obviously effeminate)
			Excuse me, Denny.  But who was 
that man you were with when I saw 
you here last week?  He seemed 
so cultured.  

DENISON
			That was my boss, Rustan Bentley.  
He's helping me with my philosophy 
class.  

Pause.

(realizing the implication)

			Oh, no.  

YOUNG MAN
			Will he be coming back to help 
you again anytime soon?  

DENISON
(evasively)
			Well, he doesn’t get out that 
much these days.  Most of his 
time he spends spreading joy to 
all the unfortunate children needing 
parents and food all over the world. 

YOUNG MAN
(gushing)
			He sounds wonderful.  He's a 
humanitarian!

DENISON
(fictitiously)
			No.  That's only because he was 
abused as a child and has lots 
of emotional problems.

YOUNG MAN
			Oh, then he must be so sensitive 
and understanding.

DENISON
(desperately)
			Not really.  He brought watermelon 
and fried chicken to my grandmaw's 
house on Martin Luther King, Jr. 
Day.

YOUNG MAN
			What a sense of humor!

DENISON
(at his wits end)
			He's a right wing conservative 
Republican!

Young man leaves in a tizzy.

CUT TO:  

INTERIOR.  DAY.  

Diana and Roxy are having lunch in a nearby restaurant.  

DIANA
			I don't know why those two boys 
keep arguing about the same things 
over and over again.  You'd think 
they'd get sick of it after a while.  

ROXY
			That's the nature of siblings. 
There's something about being related 
that just makes you want to have 
the last word.  There's no one 
else in the world that I'll argue
down to the ground except my brother.  
And, of course, I always have the 
last word.  

DIANA
			And they're never going to come 
to a conclusion.

ROXY
			It's a good thing they're related 
or there just might be an unfortunate conclusion.

DIANA
			You know, I really don't give much 
thought to what other people's 
political persuasions might be, 
but don't you think it's odd that 
			people who live so close together 
can be so easily separated by 
their party associations?  I mean, 
I could be shopping one day at 
Target and if "Maryann" knew what 
I was thinking, she might just 
run me over with her cart.  

ROXY
			I don't care what "Maryann" is 
thinking.  I came up in the
sixties as a Creole woman in 
New Orleans.  You were damned 
if you were black and damned 
if you were white by somebody.  
I didn't exactly have a party 
affiliation.  I still don't 
have much faith in the integrity 
of our political system.  To me, 
it's all big business.  The 
good ol' boy system is still 
in place to assure that the 
deepest pockets reap the richest 
rewards.  What confounds me 
everyday is that we live in a 
two party system that tries 
overtime to derail the other, 
no matter who's in office or 
what their political agendas may 
be.  If we could learn to cooperate 
as well as we compete, I think 
we'd be a far stronger country.  

DIANA
It amazes me that people spend 
so much time and energy arguing 
about the differences between 
Democrats and Republicans.  They 
have more in common than they 
realize.  In their own way, 
they all want what’s best for 
the country.  The only difference
I can see, and this is a broad 
generalization, is that most 
Republicans seem to be interested
in the good of themselves whereas 
most Democrats seem to be 
interested in the good of all.

ROXY
Competition versus cooperation.

DIANA
(reflecting)
			Competition versus cooperation.  

Pause.
(facitiously)

			They both start with C.

START:  "Everyday People" by Sly and the Family Stone.

VIDEO MONTAGE.

END.

Everyday People

Sometimes I'm right
But I could be wrong
My own beliefs are 
In my song
The butcher, the baker, 
The drummer and then
Makes no difference 
What group I'm in

I am everyday people

There is a blue one
That can't accept the green one
For being such a thick one
For trying to be a skinny one

Different strokes 
For different folks
And so on and so on
And Scoody dooby dooby

We've got to live together

I am no better
And neither are you
We're all the same
Whatever we do
You love me
You hate me
You know me and then
You can't figure out
The bag I'm in

I am everyday people

There is a long hair
That doesn't like the short hair
For being such a rich one
That will not have the poor one

Different strokes
For different folks
And so on and so on
And scooby dooby dooby

We've got to live together

There is a yellow one
That won't accept the black one
That won't accept the red one
That won't accept the white one

Different strokes 
For different folks
And so on and so on
And scooby dooby dooby

I am everyday people